"push! PUSH!" the nurse screams in the delivery room. i can’t believe i’m going to lose a push-up contest in front of my newborn son
i hate when i lose things at school like my pencils and papers and life ambitions
(Source: eleanorjanestyle, via tensioned)
Person: it's just a TV show.
Me: YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING TV SHOW.
PE doesn’t stand for physical education. it stands for public embarrassment
(Source: buttlicked, via jakemalik)